He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize