Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
