If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
