thus making me awesome and them whores
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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