I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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