shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
