he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize