You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
