WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
