i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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