I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize