do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
