Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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