jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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