Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
