why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
