what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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