Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
