the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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