He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
