Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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