The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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