pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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