If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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