Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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