So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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