We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
should my penis look like a turkey
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i drank out of a bidet.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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