he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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