Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
