Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
