I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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