so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize