yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
