i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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