Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
