Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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