Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
