the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize