just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
