i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize