..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize