dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
MIDGETS
????
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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