This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
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