life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
