Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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