i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize