We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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