I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
