Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
