I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
