I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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