Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
