where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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