Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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