You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize