It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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