that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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