i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
