What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
