so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
