I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
