I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
