Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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